Being a parent is a beautiful thing. but it also involves countless sleepless nights. Let's face it - you're not getting much sleep the first few years. If you need more proof, check out these 25 hilarious confessions from real, sleep-deprived moms.
1. "I walked out to my car and strapped my son into his car seat before I realized that I didn’t have pants on."
2. "I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and was surprised to find I felt warm and wet. Turns out I was so tired that I was peeing on the couch instead of in the toilet. I had literally pulled down my pants, sat down on the couch, and started peeing as if I were on the toilet. I just added that to the list of bodily fluids I had to clean up that night."
3. "I kept trying to open the front door of my house by pressing the unlock button of my car key."
4. "I was so tired I forgot our son’s name. I gestured to the monitor and asked my husband, 'How’s what’s-his-face doing?'"
5. "I grabbed my husband’s crotch — HARD — as he was rolling over because I thought he was the baby about to roll out of bed."
6. "When my baby woke up in the middle of the night crying I answered the door thinking it was someone ringing the doorbell."
7. "During my first month as a new mom I texted my husband (who was in bed next to me) to ask him where he was."
8. "I filled a sippy with milk and handed it to the dog. When he didn’t take it I got annoyed and said, ‘Well? Here you go!’ It took me a full five seconds to realize he wasn’t the 2-year-old."
9. "One night I realized my whole family was in the room with me but no one was holding the baby. Panicked, I yelled, 'Where’s the baby?!' My husband looked straight at me and said, 'Um, honey, you’re nursing her.'"
10. "I left the house with my nursing bra on both sides flopped down."
11. "I was breastfeeding my oldest in my living room wearing only a bra and sweats. There was a knock at the door so I got up to answer it with my breast still hanging out of my bra. The UPS guy was shocked and kept looking away. I didn’t even realize what I’d done until hours later."
12. "After a long night I had to run to the drug store. I sat at a red light for what seemed like forever — I even swore at a car that honked at me — until I realized it wasn’t a red light. It was a stop sign"
13. "After pumping milk at 3 a.m. I walked into the kitchen and dumped it all down the drain. I screamed the second I realized what I did. I’d gone into zombie-cleaning mode without thinking."
14. "In the middle of the night I tried to change my daughter, but ended up putting a clean diaper on over the dirty one"
15. "I had to go a whole day at work like this..."
16. "I made coffee without any coffee grinds. It wasn’t until the second sip that I realized I was just drinking hot water."
17. "One night, after weeks and weeks of no sleep, I genuinely believed the baby was crying because my husband had taken money from him. My husband guided me back to bed and we had great fun laughing about it the next day."
18. "My oldest wasn’t even two when I had my second child. That first week was a blur. One night I got up to feed the baby and heard snoring as I walked past the kitchen. Turns out I’d forgotten to take the older one out of her high chair and she’d fallen asleep, using her spaghetti as a pillow."
19. "I was finally putting myself to bed so I wiped off my makeup and took off my earrings. I was so sleep deprived, though, that I put the dirty makeup wipe in my jewelry box and threw away my earrings."
20. "I once tried to put on a pull-up instead of underwear after showering. Then I cried when I couldn’t get it on."
21. "I walked right up to my husband and put our son’s pacifier into his mouth."
22. "I’d been up two days after coming home from the hospital and realized that I hadn’t eaten, so I made frozen waffles — and poured dish soap on them instead of syrup."
23. "I kept calling the pediatrician a veterinarian."
24. "I tried to hug the guy who came to set up our internet as he was leaving. I was so tired and used to hugging visitors when they left. He looked at me like I was nuts."
25. "I finished a full grocery shopping trip, then fastened the baby into her car seat and drove away — leaving all of the groceries in the cart in the parking lot."
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