Here's what you can tell about a person by the way they express their anger.
1. Shouting
If a person raises their voice when they're angry, then they're the kind of person who expresses anger because they feel misunderstood and need to get their opinions and feelings out in the open whether other people want to listen to them or not. They believe that they're right about an issue or point of contention and feel the need to vehemently defend their stance or perspective. Even if deep down they know they're wrong, they will intimidate, yell, and throw blame around until they get their way.
People who yell when angry sometimes operate from a fear of not being taken seriously enough. They think that they need to demonstrate their anger to let the other person know they've to realize that they’ve crossed a line. However, shouting can also be a way of dominating or controlling the person, by pushing them to be submissive so that the angry person can get their point across. More often than not, shouting backfires. Most people stop listening once they're being yelled at because they're thinking of a defense or a retort, or they're wondering how to beat a hasty retreat.
2. Sad and silent
People who get really quiet when they're mad or upset are often afraid to express their anger for fear of upsetting the people they love the most. They keep their anger bottled up on the inside and refuse to talk or open up about how they feel because they're afraid of saying something that will hurt the person they're mad at.
They withdraw into themselves, thinking about why they're angry and trying to find the right way to get their point across. People who react to anger with silence are often afraid to stand up for themselves and confront people who hurt them. They have a fear deep down that expressing their anger will cause the people they love to stop loving them, and they will alienate the very people they want to please.
They sit on their anger, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up, but they eventually stop feeling angry and act like nothing happened. What they often don't realize is that their silence is just as alienating as their anger because by refusing to talk about it, they're unconsciously distancing themselves from the people they want to remain close to.
3. Violent
Some people lose control of themselves when they're angry. They throw things around, slam doors, break possessions, or even lash out at other people and physically hurt them. They become destructive in an attempt to externalize the feelings boiling around within them, and this can make them rather dangerous and volatile people to be around. Their bouts of anger are often followed by an incredible sense of shame at having acted violently and hurt the people they loved.
Often, violence stems from an inflated sense of self. It's hard to justify being so destructive and hurtful, but people who resort to violence often feel like they are justified in lashing out because they feel mistreated or disrespected.
The feeling of being disrespected often comes from an arrogant assumption that they are superior to other people and deserve to be treated better than them. This makes it easier for them to violate basic boundaries and to behave in unacceptable ways because they are unable to empathize with others and their pain in the moment they feel anger. If they don't get help managing their anger, they could end up doing something they will regret for the rest of their lives.
4. Crying
People who cry when they feel anger often do so out of an incredible sense of helplessness. They feel overwhelmed by the extent of their anger, but they also feel trapped, like they have no outlet for it or no way of expressing the rage and pain they feel. Crying is often a sign that the person feeling angry feels like they can’t do anything about their anger. People who cry when they’re angry feel like they’ve been treated unjustly, without any compassion or concern, and they feel unreasonably disrespected.
They know that the way they’re being treated is unjustifiable, but they also feel like justice is out of reach. They’re afraid to let the anger inside them come out in a destructive way because they feel like they need to be mature and hold back their rage, so they express it through tears instead. Many people who cry when they're angry feel frustrated and weak, but the truth is that responding to anger with tears instead of yelling or violence actually helps repair relationships.
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