Alice Boyce, Ph.D. says that one needs to deal with their self-doubt smartly, emphasizing that you don't need to be scared of times when you can't muster the confidence you think would be adequate.
While writing on Psychology Today, Boyce says that self-doubt invariably broadens one's openness to new ideas. Moreover, when its time to embrace newer things, self-doubt can help you prepare for it better, if one takes the initiative to process it. When you acknowledge that you need to give a situation more time, you'd want to work harder to make sure you are not cutting corners.
Boyce reveals, "Doubt is a generally useful emotion that some people simply experience more than others." There are certain traits in behavior that are observable when one has self-doubt, which can make a person attract destructive negative emotions.
Negative emotions generally lead to a behavior that tries to avoid the possible negative effects of that goal-directed behavior one has thought of, eventually de-focusing you from your goal/target.
If one experiences low self-confidence, they are likely to indulge in these self-sabotaging behaviors.
1. They Let Others Decide For Them.
Many people go through this involuntarily. it won't take you much to recall a time when the decision you thought of made much more sense than the one chosen by the others you left your decisions to. Possibly, there was a nagging itch in your mind which told you that you should have been more in control.
For example, when one is making a financial decision, and he/she thinks that the proposed idea of investment would not yield the result that one seeks, however, another one might just do the trick. But then you doubt yourself. Now the doubt is favorable while consulting an expert. If something is going wrong, self-doubt can prevent further damage. But when you are getting information that other people making your decision would not logically choose what's best for you, think again when you are relinquishing the power to make decisions, to others.
2. They Mold Their Behavior To Gain People's Approval
This is typical of the individuals with low self-confidence. They want to make sure they avoid situations where they fail and invite more damage to their ego, which is already crumbling. However, professionally, they work towards getting an absolutely positive response to their behavior. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, it becomes self-sabotage when they wait for that surety that they will be able to control the response of the other party. They wait for the perfect idea or expression that would aid their bid to get a favorable outcome.
It can consume too much of one's time working to ensure approval. Practically one can end up preparing an idea for months to have all the blindspots checked out. how does one work around that? Its usual to want your ideas received positively or appreciated.
Boyce says that one needs to be okay with the fact that not all their ideas will resonate with a similar zeal with which they have imagined the idea. But not getting the desired outcome from your proposal must not paralyze your decisions or ideas.
3. Their Present Actions Are Obstructed By Past Mistakes
It is necessary to learn from one's past mistakes, that is common knowledge. One can have all the emotions about that one mistake or an error you made in the past. However, if one continues to avoid action just because their previous actions did not have a favorable outcome, Boyce says this is more harmful to people with low confidence.
This one just needs more reflection on the past, if you can't help your paranoia. Moreover, this sort of behavior affects relationships, when one partner wants to implement a planned action and the other is just too apprehensive about its outcome that they want to wait a little longer, as one can guess, this gives rise to conflict.
4. They Tend To Overthink And Be Indirect
Overthinking is a debatable concept, and its outcomes have a wide range of effects. Conflicting thought processes of self-doubt can prolong your journey to the conclusion of how one tells people about what they want.
Boyce says, "It's mentally healthy to believe you're entitled to ask for what you want if you can accept not always getting it." One's notions about assertiveness should be free of conditioned responses. If you get unsettled about coming across as being obtuse while refusing or proposing an idea, then you need to be careful about how much you overthink before you choose your set of actions.
5. Their Ideas Remain Unexpressed, No Matter How Good
Another of the self-sabotaging behaviors, this behavior can have considerable drawbacks for one's professional growth. When an individual has low self-confidence, they tend to think that their ideas are not good enough and their skills are inadequate to produce ideas worth listening to.
This one needs practice in terms of speaking up and making sure that they are not always held back by assumed limitations of the proposal in mind. Focusing on the real-time data of people's response, which makes itself available only after the idea is expressed.
There is a possibility for self-doubt to arise when one observes that a particular skill holds more relevance to the group's output than the others. However, Boyce says that one needs to also be aware of the fact that "diverse brains and backgrounds create the most effective groups and teams, even if people don't always recognize this."
Since self-doubt is a common hurdle faced by people with low self-confidence. If managed well, it can be used to one's advantage, however, it is also necessary to regulate the negative emotions and feelings you get when in doubt. Too much negativity and fear can have self-sabotaging effects.
Note: This article is not meant to give psychiatric advice and reader's discretion is advised.
